Heidi Fleiss's Prison Primer

March 11 -- So what will life be like for Martha Stewart if she's put behind bars?

"It's humiliating," former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss — who, in 1997, was sentenced to 37 months in low-security prison for money laundering and tax evasion — tells Us."You're washing pots and pans all morning or serving food," says Fleiss, 38, who has since published a book, Pandering, and also runs the L.A. clothing store Hollywood Madam.

"Inmates want to slug you if they think you gave the person in front of them a bigger piece of chicken."

But Stewart might still be able to enjoy some of the perks of her pampered life on the outside.

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"For $300 a month, she can get another inmate to make her bed and do her laundry," says Fleiss.

Another upshot: "She'll definitely be hit on," jokes Fleiss. "Martha will have her pick of the litter."