Financial therapist shares how to set boundaries around money
For many, talking about money and setting financial boundaries can feel uncomfortable.
Giovanna Gonzalez, a personal finance author, told ABC News she used to have trouble having money conversations with family members.
"I've had clashes about money with family since I was in my early 20s. I'm 37 now, so now, it's much easier to stand firm in my boundaries," she said.
Gonzalez said she comes from a tight-knit family, where establishing financial rules hasn't felt easy.
"I have come a long way because before, I was taught that you give money to family no matter what and I've learned that only left me with zero at the end of the day and there was nobody to bail me out," she said.
Over the years, however, Gonzalez said she learned to balance when to help and when to say no to loved ones, such as when she was asked to cover the cost of a surgery for her grandmother.
"I responded and said, 'I'm so sorry that grandma is having to have this surgery. Unfortunately, I am not able to pay the thousand dollars but I am happy to pitch in $250 towards this surgery,'" she recalled. "And my family, at that point, was very understanding."
Financial therapist Aja Evans, author of "Feel Good Finance," explained to ABC News that planning can help one set boundaries around their money.
"If you want to give and make sure that you're generous to the people who are around you -- your loved ones, your friends, your family -- you can do that. Put it into the budget," said Evans. "They [Budgets] are a financial boundary that you put in place to make sure you have the things that you need to make sure you're meeting the goals that are really important for you."
When deciding to give or not give, Gonzalez said she also asks herself two key questions -- do you want to and can you afford it?
"A lot of people end up giving money out of guilt, out of fear of receiving backlash," said Gonzalez. "They'd rather people please and I learned the hard way that over time, that builds up resentment."
Evans added that saying no can also be a valid and acceptable response to requests for money.
"It's always OK for you to say no," Evans said. "When you are working and dealing with your finances, whether you have the money or don't have the money, no can always be an answer, even though it can be difficult for people."
Other strategies Evans suggests are to think ahead about your money and assign it a purpose to be used only for that goal and then to give in other ways -- through time, listening or offering advice.
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