Q and A with Divorce Counselor
March 25 -- In the United States, almost 50 percent of first marriages and more than 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
From this fertile ground sprouts a new service: divorce counselors, people who offer "non-legal counseling on the practical issues of divorce." One of these new counselors is Margery Rubin, the president and founder of DivorceSource, and the former wife of one of the best divorce lawyers in the business.
She says one of the most important things is not to be intimidated when people say things like "you don't have a chance," in getting a fair deal in a divorce.
"Look, you're going to survive," Rubin said. "Divorce isn't about survival, it's not about vengeance. It's about money. Simple as that. Keep that in mind."
Rubin answered some viewer questions after her appearance on ABCNEWS' Good Morning America Wednesday. Check out Rubin's online Q&A below.
Q: How can you track money that you know has been removed from joint accounts?— Joyce
A: When a divorce begins one of the things the lawyers do is subpoena all the financial records for several years so you'll see what's removed.
Q: I recently found out my husband was cheating on me. We have been together for 15 years the first 12 in seperate residences and the last three in the same residence married. He is a professional with his own practice and I am a retired school teacher. We signed no prenuptial agreement. My first question: is New York a community property state where the assets are devided upon a divorce? Secondly, how do I go about finding a good specialized divorce attorney in my area?— Martha
A: New York is not a community property state, it is an equitable distribution state which needs "fair" distribution of assets based on many different circumstances too complex to explain here. I do this on a consultation basis at my office in Manhattan including helping you find a lawyer that suits your needs.
Q: My husband and I are having marital problems and considering divorce. I stopped working in Nov. to take care of our 10 month old who has Down Syndrome. I am eligible for alimony in the event that we do get divorced? Prior to having the baby I was working full-time making $69,000. My husband still works full-time and makes $77,000.—Michelle
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