Book Excerpt: 'Cosbyology'
Nov. 13 -- In this small collection of wry comments and comic observations, Bill Cosby, approximates the character of his last TV incarnation, Cliff Huxtable, M.D.; the centerpiece of Cosby's then-groundbreaking portrayal of a black professional's family. Read the excerpt below.
Excerpt from Essays and Observations from the Doctor of Comedy:
Oh, Baby!
Planning to get married soon? Okay. Now listen to me carefully.
There was a song that spoke to me — thank God for melancholy poets and songwriters — because I couldn't express how badly I wanted her. But there was a song that said it all. And I just heard the words on the radio. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."
Ain't no mountain high enough. To keep me from getting to you.
I mean, whether you're married or not, you know this song is telling your story. No mountain. High enough. To keep me from getting to you. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. No ocean wide enough to keep me from . . .
Oh, baby!
This beginning, this want, tells you to do things because you need that person. You accept this. And you will do things not asked of you by the person you want. As a matter of fact, you will volunteer. Like the song says.
You will climb mountains. You will wade through rivers. You will swim across oceans.
And the person you want hasn't even asked you to do anything like that. But you will do it.
The early years of marriage are fun in retrospect because both people are hoping it will last forever. Although they both would prefer to go straight to the Fiftieth Anniversary. That's because any sign of a difference in the relationship could cause "The Break Up." So, in the beginning, you will do anything to satisfy.
There will come a time in your marriage when both people begin to change. And in that change, there will be things that you're not going to do for her anymore. And there will be things that she's not going to do for you anymore. Some of this may be happening now. You will notice that the person will just — boom — stop. And they're not doing that for you anymore. And don't forget what I said. It doesn't make any difference. There are things I'm not doing anymore. And not because I can't. But because I don't want to.
Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.
Ain't no mountain high enough. To keep me from getting to you.
Oh, baby!
The first year, I would climb that mountain in the winter up eight thousand feet. All she had to do was call my name. I'm there. Eight thousand feet above Denver.
Oh, baby!
On a Monday night — during football season — I'm there! By her side. Asking her command.
Oh, baby!
And I don't know when the change occurred. I don't know if it was the fifth year or the fifteenth. But I know today if somebody came up to me and said: Mr. Cosby, your wife is up on the top of the mountain and said for you to come up and get her. First thing I'd say is: Well, what the Hell is she doing up there? Then I'd call my daughter and say: go up there and get your mother and bring her down here and take her over to the hospital and see if she's all right.
Oh, baby!
But I love her more today than back then.
In the first years of your marriage you have to go to the bathroom, see. So you get up and you take your wife's arms — the two of you have been just holding each other, you know, you hold each other like you're floating. And suddenly, you hear this booming voice in your head.
You better go to the bathroom!
So you hit the light. Click! And she sits up and she's startled and she says:
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