GMA: Victim's Dad Will Watch McVeigh Execution

April 20, 2001 -- For days after the Oklahoma City bombing, Paul Howell stood outside the damaged structure and quietly prayed, hoping in vain that his youngest daughter would somehow make it out the wreckage alive.

So he felt fortunate to be one of the 10 survivors and victims' family members selected by lottery to stand witness to the May 16 execution of Timothy McVeigh in Terre Haute, Ind. Just to make sure it happens, he says.

"I consider it lucky," Howell told Good Morning America's Charlie Gibson. "I've done a lot of thinking about this thing and I just feel like I needed to be there to represent the state and also my family on this field. Because, the man, you know, he killed 168 people."

He knew 50 of those people personally. One was his daughter, Karen Howell, a 27-year-old mother of two who was getting ready to celebrate her third wedding anniversary. She was a loan officer at the Federal Employees Credit Union and was on the third floor of the bombed-out building.

"A lot of my friends got hurt and [McVeigh] has really disrupted a lot of people's lives and I need to see this to make sure it happens the way its supposed to," said Howell, a retired National Guard recruiter.

‘For the Whole Doggone State’

But it's not just about his family's loss, Howell said.

"I think more or less, its for the whole doggone state, because I'm definitely representing my family and my grandkids — but I talked to a lot of the people there today at the memorial and they said 'Paul, you need do this for all of us — to represent the ones that were not lucky enough to go to Terre Haute,'" he said.

He is not sure what he will see. Mostly he is curious to hear what McVeigh might have to say for himself.

"I'm hoping he will go in there and say he was sorry or something like that, but I just don't think he will — I think he's gonna make us mad again, is what I think — but that's alright, this will be the last time he'll be able to make anyone mad again," Howell said.

He expects to feel a wide range of emotions.

"I expect to feel hate, sorrow, happiness, a little remorse, uh — I hate to see anyone get killed this way, but the thing about this is, he needs it," Howell said.

His daughter left behind two children that he is helping to raise. He and his ex-wife are co-guardians. The two girls are 16 and 11. The older one wanted to see the execution too, but you have to be at least 18 to enter the lottery.

A Sense of Justice

When he told his family that he would see the execution they were supportive. They have not forgotten what happened six years ago, but the family does not talk about it as much anymore.

"They cut that out about three years ago. They spent about three-and-a-half to four years in counseling and that helped them tremendously," he said.

The world won't change after the May 17 execution, he said.

"No — it will not be any different — we will have stuff like this going on all over the world from now on," Howell said. "But at least we got one of them out of the way."

And he and his granddaughters say it will bring a sense of closure for them, if not for other people.

But will the death seem like revenge or will it feel like justice?

"Justice, completely justice," Howell says.