Joel Siegel Reviews 'The Mexican'
March 1, 2001 -- There's been a bit of controversy over Dreamworks' ad campaign for The Mexican, which makes it appear as a Brad Pitt/Julia Roberts romantic comedy when the two share a bare 15 minutes of screen time. Well, it's not a bare 15 minutes at all. Believe me — that's not part of the problem, that's part of the solution.
The film starts with Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts together. She is playing the cinematic equivalent of a thumbnail scraping against a blackboard. She wants to go to Vegas to follow her dream — work her way through croupier school as a cocktail waitress. Pitt, though, has got to go to Mexico to bring back an antique pistol or the mob will kill him. Presented with what most of us would call unassailable logic, she assails. "Me, me, me," she shrieks, "all you think about is me. If you don't go with me I'll never see you again!" How does this kind of dialogue get into a movie? Doesn't anybody read this or hear this and say … "no"?
No. All they hear is Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts — how can they miss? What I want to say is… you want to know how they can miss? You gotta see The Mexican. But if I say that I'll get quoted: "You gotta see The Mexican, Joel Siegel, Good Morning America." And that's not what I meant.
This film tells four stories and tells none of them well.
STORY 1: Pitt and Roberts together.
STORY 2: Pitt in Mexico after the pistol.
STORY 3: The legend of the pistola El Mexicano.
STORY 4: Roberts kidnapped by hitman James Gandolfini.
Story 2
Pitt finds the pistol easily enough, in a series of fairly funny bits that play off of our stereotypes and Pitt's wide-eyed, nutball innocence and enthusiasm. I like him.
He's under orders to bring the pistol and the kid who has it back to the states. But the kid gets shot in the top of the head by the Mexicanos while celebrating Cinco de Mayo. As he's reporting this in, on a pay phone (when will movies discover cell phones?), his car gets stolen with the pistol, of course, inside.
Next scene, Pitt riding a burro. It's funny. He's funny. He finds the guy who stole his car and tortures him a little. That's not funny. The guy we later learn is the — follow this please — son of the man Pitt's boss hired Pitt to give the pistol to. That means the guy who stole the pistol ends up with it anyway at the end of the film. That means the entire saga of Pitt in Mexico is totally and completely irrelevant.
Story 3
The legend of this pistol, the "most beautiful pistol ever made" (looks like crap to me), is told in sepia-toned cinematography three different ways — each one more boring than the last.
Story 4
This is the only one that works. Roberts is kidnaped by James Gandolfini, who brings much depth and reality to his character. Turns out Gandolfini, a much-feared professional hit man, is gay. What a great idea. This should be the movie, the relationship between a hostage and a gay hit man. Every time they cut away from Gandolfini and Roberts we wince, but cut away they do. Eventually he's cut out. For no reason. None. We're cheated again.
Denoument
Back to story 1: Roberts and Pitt are in Mexico, together. They are in a hotel waiting to hear from the American consulate (a running gag, an old man has been waiting in the same lobby for the same call for a year, we're told) because Pitt has lost his passport. But Americans don't need a passport to travel within Mexico; we don't need a passport to get out of Mexico. Plus we've seen Brad Pitt drive all around the country, why doesn't he drive to an American consul instead of waiting for the call?
This was supposed to be a low-budget, no-star movie until Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts decided they liked the script. And then, I think — and I won't blame the two stars — the filmmakers just lost control. You can't make a little movie with Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts. Everything becomes bigger than life. And this script, and the director, can't live up to that scrutiny.
Pitt is terrific. Watch him and her at the end of the film, loving every strident kvetch. In fact, Roberts is so strident that if she wasn't such an Oscar lock this performance could hurt her chances —if Oscar voters see this film. The pertinent clause is: "if Oscar voters see this film." Or anyone else, for that matter. Two word review: El Paso.
Rating: C