Teen Says He Killed Teacher by Accident

V E R O  B E A C H, Fla., May 13, 2004 -- — To this day, Nathaniel Brazill says he never meant to shoot his teacher.

"My first mistake, my very first mistake that led to this whole situation was taking the gun in the first place," Brazill told ABCNEWS' Robin Roberts in a jailhouse interview. "Had I not have taken that gun, I wouldn't be here right now."

It was four years ago this month that the country was shocked by the Lake Worth, Fla., school shooting. Barry Grunow, a popular middle school teacher, was shot in his classroom on May 26, 2000, the last day of school before students were to start their summer break. Brazill was a 13-year-old student at the school.

Now 17, Brazill has served nearly four years of a 28-year sentence after being tried as an adult and convicted of second-degree murder. He is incarcerated at the Indian River Correctional Institute in Vero Beach, and is appealing his conviction.

‘In the Blink of an Eye’

At the time of the shooting, Brazill says, he was fascinated with guns and dreamed of a career in law enforcement.

"It just was something that I was always fascinated with, and also I wanted to go into law enforcement and be a Secret Service agent, and I wanted to know how to shoot, I wanted to learn how to shoot the gun," Brazill said.

He has trouble explaining how he went from his dream of someday protecting the president of the United States to ending up in jail on murder charges.

"It all happens in the blink of an eye," Brazill said. "Quickly my life went from being on a straight path to being in prison. And that's why I say, to every child, person, kid, that is watching, 'Think really hard about decisions that you make.' Because like I said, had I not taken the gun from that cookie tin, I wouldn't be here right now."

Grunow, 35, left behind a wife and two young children, now 9 and 4 years old. One of the most tragic aspects about his death is that everyone who knew Grunow liked him, including Brazill, who said he considered him one of his favorite teachers.

"I liked the way that he interacted with myself and the other students, the way he played basketball and he hung out with us," Brazill said. "As far as when we were in class, he just sat back and talked to us."

‘Shouldn’t Have Happened’

But on the last day of the school year, Brazill was sent home early for throwing a water balloon. He returned with a gun he had stolen from a family friend and went to Grunow's classroom. When Grunow refused to let Brazill speak with a classmate, Brazill shot him point blank in the face.

On advice from his lawyer, Brazill refused to talk to ABCNEWS about exactly what happened that day.

"What happened shouldn't have happened and I'm still kind of myself trying to figure out how it happened," he said. "I kind of know how it happened because it was, it was an accident, but I'm still trying to put all of the pieces together."

After the shooting, he ran. Other students testified that he pointed a gun at a teacher as he fled.

"I ran out of fear and after I run, I see someone coming toward me," Brazill said. "You're not really sure what that person is going to do to you, you know, whether that person is just coming out to investigate and see what's going on or if that person is coming out to attack you. And that's why in, in kind of the heat of the moment, I reacted the way I did, once I saw him coming toward me."

At his trial, Brazill told the jury he never meant to pull the trigger. Did he think it was fair to be tried as an adult?

"No, I don't," he said. "Because I look at it, when I was 13, I wasn't able, I wasn't old enough by law to drive, I wasn't old enough by law to buy cigarettes, to buy beer."

What Does Remorse Look Like?

He understands why people might not be sympathetic, but maintains the killing was an accident. "I would like for people to understand is that this was an accident," Brazill said. "And they continue to say, 'Well, how was it an accident? It wasn't an accident.' But it clearly was an accident. Had it not been an accident, the jury would have found me guilty of first-degree murder."

Brazill, a former honor student, has earned his high school equivalency diploma behind bars. In some ways, his days are not unlike those of many teenagers. He spends six hours a day in computer classes. In the evening, he watches television. But this all takes places within a high-security prison with other convicted felons. Five times a day, he returns to his cell for a prison head count.

Those who were present in the school at the time of the shooting have said they do not think Brazill has shown any true remorse for what happened.

"I've read about that a lot in the papers and one thing I try to feel out is, what does remorse look like?" Brazill asked. "The only time that they actually saw me would be a few minutes that I did while I was in the courtroom."

Brazill said that after he was arrested and the detective told him that Grunow died, he "clearly showed remorse." But now, the teen says he tries to put what happened out of his mind.

"I try not to think of it too often, but on occasion I do think about it," Brazill said. "The only time I really seem to have any nightmares about it are usually on the anniversary."