Anna Nicole Smith Speaks Out for the First Time

Nov. 2, 2006 — -- For the first time, since the mysterious death of her 20-year-old son, Daniel, Anna Nicole Smith is finally speaking out.

In an interview scheduled to air tonight, she tells "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight" how she struggled to pull herself together after her son's unexpected death two months ago.

She said she'd never accept that he was gone.

"I don't understand why God took him and didn't take me," she said during the interview, crying.

Her son died only three days after the former Playboy Playmate gave birth to a baby girl.

He had come to see her in her Bahamas hospital room. He suddenly died, reportedly from a lethal and accidental combination of anti-depressants and methadone.

Smith is now back in that same hospital suffering from pneumonia, having just undergone surgery to drain fluid from a partially collapsed lung.

"She's a train wreck," said Harvey Levin of celebrity gossip Web site TMZ.com. "She is someone who is teetering on the edge, and you don't know if she is going to fall off that cliff or not."

"If I didn't have Howard or my baby, I wouldn't be here," Smith said.

Her ex-boyfriend, photographer Larry Birkhead, has sued her for paternity.

"Larry Birkhead believes sincerely that he is the father of this child, and he thinks that Anna Nicole Smith is scared that if she comes back to the United States he could wrestle this baby away," Levin said.

But Smith vowed to stay in the Bahamas.

"The bottom line is it's our child. … Let us raise our child, and let us be happy," she said.